You know what you’re home lacks? I can tell you. It’s a picture of you naked, illustrated by Jill Kleinhans. Jill is a very obliging woman and for a small fee she’ll create a custom block print of you au naturel.
All you have to do is send her a nude photo of yourself.
Quite where you’ll hang it is another matter.
I suggest the hallway. What better way of breaking the ice with visitors or scaring away your mother-in-law?